In Which Lefty Gets a Hobby.

Y’know what? I’m bored. Don’t get me wrong, I love being here on teh intarwebs with all you lovely people, but after a year of living in Texas, I am seriously needing some outside stimulation.  How can I tell, you ask? Well, mostly it was the SO ever so kindly saying ‘if you don’t find something to do, you are going to drive me crazy.’ Ha. He asked for it. I found something to do. After several months of running into their stuff on foodgawker, I have signed up for the Daring Cooks’ challenge. These are the same people who present the Daring Bakers’ challenge every month, but while I love love LOVE pastry, I am abysmal at baking. No, really. I suck at it. Plus the SO won’t eat sweets, so I’m stuck gaining weight all on my own. Cooking on the other hand…. well let’s just say a friend recently told him he’s ‘looking married.’ *snicker*

The Daring Cooks’ challenge. In which, along with my usual political and atheistic observations, I’ll also be posting recipes and pictures of my epicurean ventures. AND HE HAS TO EAT THEM! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA! My evil plan is working. So just a heads up. This space will occasionally be sprinkled with my newest hobby.

I Wonder If Dorothy Parker Ever Felt This Way…

Well, likely not. It’s one in the afternoon, I’m awake and sober. All due respect to Mrs. Parker, I don’t believe the woman believed in mornings. Or sobriety. But I do wonder if she ever felt frustrated, restless, scared and breathless all at the same time…waiting for something to happen, worrying that it will…

There is a rhythm and flow to writing; a natural progression in which all the words just spew themselves from fingers to keyboard, bypassing the brain. Which explains why the ramblings are so damn disconnected. But the flow’s been interrupted the past week or so. Lately it feels like work, which is most distressing. Maybe if I drink alot and sleep in. I’m already acerbic and bad tempered. I could start insulting politicians. Oh, wait. I already do that.

I think what is really needed is a reset. Something unpleasant and soul destroying that will make me appreciate what I have and embrace life more fully. Maybe I’ll attend a Republican Ladies’ lunch. They’re lobbying to get ex-President Bush to speak at one of their fundraisers here in Dallas. My god, I think I’ve sufficiently horrified myself just with the thought. I’ll find inspiration. Just please do not make me spend time with those soulless stepford women.

Okay. Up and out of bed, laptop off. I will be back later, hopefully with something interesting to say.

It’s 19° F Outside. Don’t WANNA Go to Work.

I am fully prepared to admit that, being born and raised in Central California, I am somewhat spoiled when it comes to road conditions and weather. It rarely gets below freezing in the SF Bay area, and snow is something on the hills that you look at and say “ooo, how pretty.” This is my first winter in Dallas.

So. That said….I have just one question: How in hell do people here get anything done in the winter?! I mean, really! It is 19° outside, there is ice on EVERYTHING, the schools are closed, none of the businesses are opening til around 10am because of the ice storm last night…I’m sitting here with a mug of hot chocolate watching the news, and the idiots who ARE out on the road are only going about 30mph because of the half inch of ice on the roads.

I don’ get it. There have been more than 40 accidents since 5am. Every local station is advising that if it’s at all possible, people should remain home and wait for the ice to melt. The darling man, of course, is having none of it. “They always say that,” he shrugs as he bundles into his coat. “But…there have been a ton of accidents!” “I’ll be fine. The problem is other drivers, not me.” “Okay, did you actually hear what you just said?” He went anyway, of course. I told him he’d need a crowbar to get my ass out from under the electric blanket. He called me about five minutes ago. “Guess who made it to work alive and well?” “Great. And I was going to buy a Jag with the life insurance.” “You think we have life insurance?” Idiot. At least I know what to do in this kind of weather. I’m getting some more marshmallows for my hot chocolate and going back to bed with my book.

BLOWFISH TESTICLES POISON SEVEN!

Best. Headline. EVAR. No, I am not even kidding. Story here.

Apparently, 44 people were sickened and 3 people died from fugu poisoning in Japan last year, usually from preparing puffer fish at home. This particular incident took place in a restaurant in which the sushi chef was not licensed to prepare the dish. Fortunately, all the diners survived, or I’d feel horrible about the mocking headline.

Okay, honestly, I was giggling before I even found out they were all still alive. My mind kept visualising the funerals…. “It’s how he would’ve wanted to go…” Can you see it? I mean, I grant you, you wouldn’t care once you were dead, but can you see YOUR significant other explaining to people that you died eating fish testicles? I can actually see my friends’ faces as the darling man delivered the news; all of them nodding and trying not to smile, thinking “yup, that sounds about right…”

First: Do No Harm. Unless You Disagree With Their Morals.

On December 19th, the Bush administration very quietly approved provisions to put the final nail in the coffin of American healthcare. Effective Jan 19th (one day, you will note, before President-elect Obama takes office), all entities tied to healthcare…including insurance companies…will be able to deny care or coverage for any service they feel disagrees with their moral code.

As a woman, I am furious. How dare you, Mr. Bush, tell any insurance company or doctor that I may not obtain reproductive health without risking my life? As a bisexual woman, I am seething. How dare you open the door to anyone to question me on my sexuality and deny me care because they don’t approve? As a nurse, I am so livid I am nearly speechless. We do not question the morality of our patients. It is not for us to judge. If someone comes to me because they are injured, in pain, or just have questions, I am here to do my best to help them. Their personal life is not for ME to judge. How dare ANYONE decide such a thing?

So now I can deny care based on my moral outrage? Fine. How would it be, then, if I, as an atheist, were to refuse care to fundamentalist Christians because I morally disagree with their warped perceptions of reality? How would it be if I were to refuse care to some redneck idiot who had broken his neck on his motorcycle because I’m morally opposed to treating morons who refuse to wear a helmet? How would it be were I to refuse to assist in delivering a baby because I think the world is overpopulated enough and it’s against my ethics?

Mr. Bush, you do not know the damage you have done. You think you are merely putting down rights for gays and women. I assure you, sir, you have no idea the death blow you have dealt my profession. I am saddened. But more, I am enraged that anyone would dare do such a thing as risk the lives of the people of this country all so that a few backward, self righteous, judgmental overbearing jerks can look down their noses and deny care to people they consider inferior to themselves.

I am sickened by the very thought of what this will do to a profession of which I have always been proud to be a part. There are simply no words for how disgusted I am by this ruling.

What I Want For Christmas: A Very Palin Wish

If I were suddenly confronted with the ghost of Christmas Present (always loved the implicit pun) and granted three wishes….wait, is that just for genies?… as soon as I convinced myself that I was not hallucinating, I’d tell him that I have only one wish: MAKE SARAH PALIN GO AWAY!!!

The only thing more distressing than putting up with Caribou Barbie is putting up with her frothing racist homophobe fundie fans. The Huff has a story up today about the new website erected in her honor. It isn’t just worrisome, it’s downright disgusting. This is the new face of conservativism? Some choice quotes from posters include:

When a blogger named James asks if anybody has bought the new Obama coins, SavantNoir responds: “[Y]es James, and i melted it down to see the look of agnoy on his face, made it a BB pellet and shot it into a pile of shit.”On one blog Heather describes Election Day as the “most terrible” in history and asks “how long until obama is shot??????” Josie responds: “There are plenty of people that would like to see Obama end that way.”

And about our new first lady?

Ava M: I have never actually HATED anyone in politics before now….She is stupid, mean, power hungry, manipulative, corrupt, essentially ignorant–a poster girl for Institutionalized Black Racism and Agression, a take-no-prisoners warrior for Political Correctnes aka Socialist Realism and a racially driven Communist fellow traveller. Let her go run an African country. She doesn’t fit in here with the American People.

I’m speechless. These are Christians, then? Christian sentiments? Michelle Obama IS American. She was born and raised here. She worked hard to get where she is. What is WRONG with you people? If anything, Michelle Obama has exhibited every trait Republicans insist Americans SHOULD exhibit: Hard work, dedication to her family and support of her husband. But because there’s a D after that husband’s name, she must be a “racially driven Communist”?

Conservatives, moderates, Fiscal Republicans, I have said it before, and I will say it again: It is time you took your party back. The nation needs the conservative party like a car needs a good set of brakes, to rein in the excesses of Dems. If you do not do this and do it soon, your party is doomed to be no longer the Grand Old Party, but God’s Own Party, fueled by hate and ignorance and directed by extremists like Sarah Palin. For the sake of all you hold dear… drop her and drop her now.

Madonna: What to Get the Woman Who Has Everything?

Why not a child from a third world country?  Latest dish is that Madonna and her man of the month Alex Rodriguez will be flying to Malawi to adopt a 4 year old girl whose mother died after giving birth.

I’m torn. On the one hand, this child will likely receive advantages to which she never would have had access in Malawi…and that’s very good, indeed. Hopefully she’ll grow to be as much of a philanthropist as her future mum. On the other hand…it chills me no end that this woman treats children like fashion accessories. New man? Need a new kid… Angelina Jolie adopted another one? Better snag a cuter one fast. World tour? Round it off with an adoption and a photo op. And how much time does she spend with each of these kids? Does she actually do any, you know, MOTHERING? Or are they shuffled off to nannies while she jets around the world?

Am I angry? Well…maybe. I take my role as mom very seriously. I spend time going to band practices, recitals, helping with projects and homework, taking the kids to movies and museums…and of course dinner every night…all because I know damn well that this is temporary, this motherhood thing..that they’re going to leave soon enough and each second I get with them is important. So, yes. To see someone like Madonna so flippantly adopting here and there as if it’s nothing more than a trip to the mall gets on my mom nerve. It’s great that she wants to make a difference in the life of a child, and for that I applaud her. But I still question just how altruistic her motives really are, and who will really be raising that little girl.

Alphainventions and the Blogosphere

So I had no idea until a couple days ago there was this thing called Alphainventions. I have no idea how they do it (that’s me; total coding moron. Hey. If I was meant to be more than semi-computer literate, I wouldn’t be shacked up with a brilliant network admin.), but it imports new posts from all over the blogosphere and shows them for a brief period…just long enough to decide whether or not you want to read it…and then allows you to follow a link to the blog. Quite cool. Anyway, thanks awfully; my traffic has seen a jump. Something to be pleased about after a 2 month hiatus.

Atheists and Christmas

As I think I’ve shown thus far, there have been many “reason[s] for the season.” It bears repeating that Christmas is NOT the day Christ was born. In fact, it’s been debunked to death.  There’s only one point in the year when shepherds “watch over their flocks by night,” and it ain’ t the dead of winter. It’s lambing season, around April. We also know Joseph and Mary were on their way to Bethlehem to be taxed by the Romans, which didn’t happen til late spring. The date December 25th wasn’t even arrived at until the 4th century CE, and was mainly chosen because the church needed something equally important to rival the pagan festival of the Winter Solstice. What could possibly be more important than the birth of the savior? Perfect. The actual facts fudged for the more important “truth” of Ecumenical politics.  December 25th it is.

As a result, I have absolutely no problem celebrating Christmas as a generic, mid winter holiday. There are many reasons to celebrate. My children are happy, healthy and doing well in school. They’ve worked hard all year; they deserve the gifts they’re getting. They have time off, and we get to spend time making cookies, watching old movies and playing games together as a family. Family has come in from California to visit, making this holiday special. We are happy to have each other. Do we really need to impose another reason? Especially one that isn’t true anyway.

And despite what Bill O’Reilly froths, I really have nothing against Christmas at all. I’ve always been a huge fan. Tell me Merry Christmas; I don’ t mind. I enjoy the lights and the displays on my and the neighbors’ front lawns. I love decorating the tree (incidentally, for those Christians still reading, you should look up what Jesus said about keeping company with ‘pagans’ who keep trees in their houses during the winter festival) and the house. I throw myself into Christmas. It’s the one time of the year I forget all my cares and worries and just enjoy.

So, no. I don’t have a problem with Christmas. If anything, I think it’s a shame that not everyone celebrates it. I think we should remember the original reason for it: We all made it through the year alive, we all have our health, we have our family gathered close, and the days are going to start getting longer any time now. It’s come full circle and time to start again. Merry Christmas.

A Short History of Holiday Traditions, Part 2

Okay. So we got as far as Easter yesterday. I know I skipped over quite a few things that are tied into Easter, like Lent and Good Friday and Ash Wednesday.  Rest assured, I didn’t forget about them. To put it rather bluntly: they’re just not that important. They, much like the Easter Bunny, are sort of societal vermiform appendixes. They once had meaning, but it’s changed and now we keep them around more or less out of habit.

Moving on.

Samhain aka Hallowe’en aka All Hallows Eve. Yes, I know. It’s roundly rejected by horrified Christians as a night of demonic influence, but it’s still a religious holiday. What would a religion be without a demon to point to and use to scare the masses?

Samhain (pronounced Sowen, not Sam Hane) and Halloween are now woven together as one holiday, the traditions of both making the whole. In Ireland, where Samhain originated, it was the festival celebrating the end of the harvest, and originally translated to “end of Summer [season].”  According to Wiki:

Traditionally, Samhain was time to take stock of the herds and grain supplies, and decide which animals would need to be slaughtered in order for the people and livestock to survive the winter. This custom is still observed by many who farm and raise livestock.^[3][4][13]

Bonfires played a large part in the festivities celebrated down through the last several centuries, and up through the present day in some rural areas of the Celtic nations and the diaspora. Villagers were said to have cast the bones of the slaughtered cattle upon the flames. In the pre-Christian Gaelic world, cattle were the primary unit of currency and the center of agricultural and pastoral life. Samhain was the traditional time for slaughter, for preparing stores of meat and grain to last through the coming winter. The word ‘bonfire’, or ‘bonefire’ is a direct translation of the Gaelic tine cnámh. With the bonfire ablaze, the villagers extinguished all other fires. Each family then solemnly lit its hearth from the common flame, thus bonding the families of the village together. Often two bonfires would be built side by side, and the people would walk between the fires as a ritual of purification. Sometimes the cattle and other livestock would be driven between the fires, as well.

I’m having difficulty figuring out exactly how a harvest festival came to be viewed as “evil” and “the work of the devil” from the Irish custom. Let us move on to the “Dia de los Muertos,” Day of the Dead, as it’s celebrated in Mexico. This, I can at least understand if not agree with.

The Day of the Dead is a rather sweet holiday that got misunderstood by knee-jerk reactionaries. It’s all about honoring ancestors. That’s done in every culture at some point and is still valid in many countries. The church saw this and reacted in a predictably horrified and histrionic manner. It was wicked. It was worshiping ghosts. EVIL!! AAAAAARGH! What, oh WHAT to do? I know! All Saints Day! It had worked with those obstreperous Irish. Well. It worked and it didn’t. Dia de los Muertos is still celebrated, it just has a more Catholic flavor.

Thanksgiving. I need to clear this up. There are two schools of thought on Thanksgiving. One is that because it is about giving thanks to god for making it through the really nasty New England winter it is therefore religious. On the other hand, it’s not celebrated anywhere else by any other Christians, and is viewed by the other school as a purely patriotic holiday like 4th of July. Yes, I’m probably biased in my atheism. But since it is celebrated by EVERYONE in my country regardless of religion or creed, I view it as a secular holiday that is more along the lines of St. George’s Day (Britain) than anything else. Except without the dragon.

And we are brought full circle to Christmas. Which, when you get right down to it, is the latest in a long line of holidays celebrating the end of the dark and the return of the light. So. Merry Christmas, Happy Chanukhah, Joyous Yule, Happy Solstice…whichever may be appropriate. Enjoy the season, whatever your personal reason. The sun really will come up tomorrow.